Tag Archive | poet

What Do You Want with Your Life?

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I’ve been nagging myself with that question in these past few months but I still don’t know what my ultimate goal is.

Sure, I want to be sucessful. I want a stable job and a simple life with a family. I want a life that I don’t have to worry about not being able to eat tomorrow. That I can provide for myself and my family. It was just a simple dream. But the thing is, it felt impossible. Unattainable. That I really have to go out of the country just to attain that. Because in here, my profession is in vain.

And there goes writing. I want writing to be my profession, not just a hobby, but my parents didn’t allow me to take any writing related courses so instead, I became a licensed Pharmacist. Not that I hate my current job. I love being a Pharmacist but I just don’t like the current practice here in my country.

I know I don’t need to have a degree just to write. But knowing you are well qualified still means something.

I know a lot of things. I read a lot. I know how to do them. But I still feel insufficient. I still feel useless.

Maybe I just missed my regular readers in college. Since we graduated, I barely see them. My colleagues at work don’t even read. I don’t understand why they never read novels. Probably, they never read a book that could amaze them. Or they were just so lazy to open and read one.

Sometimes, I want to hate my life. That I felt unlucky compared to others in my age. But I know it’s not true. I’m lucky. I get to do a lot of things I love. I can write anything I want.

But what do I want with my life?

Aside from those simple things, my ultimate goal probably is: To be able to share to the world my stories and novels and poems, hoping somehow they could inspire them. I know I have a lot to learn. And what I learned would be shared as well.

Or maybe, I am just insane. What about you? Do you have the same question in life?

In Another Life

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If I’m gone, would you miss me?
Would you say world’s different without me?
I seriously doubt that
I never affected you the way you did to me
I’m just a trusted friend
Nothing more, nothing less
Maybe in another life
Maybe if I’m prettier
If I’m thinner
Or maybe taller
Or even fairier
But I’m still here
Always willing to listen
To understand you
To comfort you
Anything you want
For now, I’ll be your trusted friend
Until maybe in another life
You can finally see me…

(Free Verse IV)

~ a poem inspired by Katy Perry’s Song The One That Got Away
~ while editing / revising my novel, poetry muse strikes me even while commuting

Just So You Know

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I don’t know what’s wrong
It’s complicated, yet it’s simple
It’s a ridiculous thought
It’s a gap I could no longer bridge
I don’t even know why am I doing this
I miss you,  don’t you know that?
I want to be with you
I don’t want you to go
But I’m confused as well as afraid
Of totally falling for you
Because I know you too well
I know what you’re capable of
I know how many hearts you broke
But I trust you well enough
To yield to you
I don’t know if it’s wrong
I don’t know what’s right
I am confused
I don’t know how to refuse
You, of all people
I’m such a fool
You are just using me
Yet I am still here
With broken heart and wounded soul
I can’t just let you go
Because after all we’ve been through
I still want you
I still want your arms around me
But, I don’t know if you feel that, too

(Free Verse II)

How Writing Became My World

I love reading but only since High School. And it’s because of Harry Potter books. Since then, I started to read widely, from genre to genre and I began collecting books. Only by 2002 I started writing. Poems were my first outlet until after I got bored of it, I decided to try novels. How far fetched it was for me and ambitious too, thinking it was easy.

Damn, it was not. My first attempt was with my best friend. It was a failure. There was nothing out of ordinary in it. It remained unfinished until now.

Then there was this guy, a good friend of mine too, who asked me to help him. He wanted to write a novel inspired by his own love story. But the setting is medieval. He asked me to write the love story while he will take care of the action. It was fun, really, until a minor character in that story sparked my mind.

Then I started writing, creating my own fantasy world. It started as a short story but became a full blown novel. From 2004 to 2006, I wrote it, edited and edited it. Then it inspired 3 more novels. I ‘m revising the second novel now. And so here I am, talking about it.

With this guy I helped, I don’t know if he finished the book because we went to college and never heard of him. But thanks to his ideas, writing became my world.

And now, I’m thinking of posting my unpublished novels here, chapter by chapter.  I would rather hear a feedback than to have it on my bookshelves, only read by few colleagues and friends.