Tag Archive | pharmacist

What Do You Want with Your Life?

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I’ve been nagging myself with that question in these past few months but I still don’t know what my ultimate goal is.

Sure, I want to be sucessful. I want a stable job and a simple life with a family. I want a life that I don’t have to worry about not being able to eat tomorrow. That I can provide for myself and my family. It was just a simple dream. But the thing is, it felt impossible. Unattainable. That I really have to go out of the country just to attain that. Because in here, my profession is in vain.

And there goes writing. I want writing to be my profession, not just a hobby, but my parents didn’t allow me to take any writing related courses so instead, I became a licensed Pharmacist. Not that I hate my current job. I love being a Pharmacist but I just don’t like the current practice here in my country.

I know I don’t need to have a degree just to write. But knowing you are well qualified still means something.

I know a lot of things. I read a lot. I know how to do them. But I still feel insufficient. I still feel useless.

Maybe I just missed my regular readers in college. Since we graduated, I barely see them. My colleagues at work don’t even read. I don’t understand why they never read novels. Probably, they never read a book that could amaze them. Or they were just so lazy to open and read one.

Sometimes, I want to hate my life. That I felt unlucky compared to others in my age. But I know it’s not true. I’m lucky. I get to do a lot of things I love. I can write anything I want.

But what do I want with my life?

Aside from those simple things, my ultimate goal probably is: To be able to share to the world my stories and novels and poems, hoping somehow they could inspire them. I know I have a lot to learn. And what I learned would be shared as well.

Or maybe, I am just insane. What about you? Do you have the same question in life?

Work to Live, Not to Die

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Upon pondering on things, I realized I work to live, not to die. I work to support my family. With the current work I have, I can do it although not as grand as I want it to be. A sideline would be fine.

With an opportunity I let go, it made me see things clearly. If I choose it, I have to sacrifice a lot of things including the following:

-My night sleep. Night differential is fine but not enough. At night, the body recovers. Nothing can beat a hell of 8 hours of sleep. Not even money.

-My free time to have a social life. I’ll be saying goodbye to occasional bar hopping and drinking and singing (lol). I would not have that.

-My time to write, of course. Writing has been the powerful energy that molded me. If I go with it, I’ll be sleepy during the day. I would rather sleep than write and I will no longer be me. Although if I really want to, I still can but I’ll be pushing myself further. I would rather spend the night writing than abuse myself.

-My fellow medical professionals. Their company is not something money can buy. Every day is pricess.

-The proximity. In my current work, I am only 30 mins to 1 hour away from home and it only took me one ride to get there. With the new offer, I’ll be suffering traffic and 3 rides. I’ll also be spending 2-3 hours just to get there.

I might even get sick so I’ll be needing those medication benefits they can give me. What the hell? Of course, I would rather be healthy. I don’t need their useless benefits.

With its confined environment and repeated work load, I might get bored. From where I am, I am fine although not as content as I want to be. But I can do things I wanted to do. And I enjoyed it.

In a place where I can freely write, nothing else matters…

(But if the offer is so great, I might sacrifice those things. Hahaha… only if the price is right. For now, it doesn’t match my needs so I’ll be sticking around here first and wait until another opportunity knocks on my door. Did I just eat what I said? ;p)

We are LICENSED PHARMACIST! Not some—

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Not some easily fooled idiots who will just agree with their lowest proposal. We did not earn our degree overnight. We studied it for four to five eyebrows-burning years. We reviewed and prayed endlessly to pass the freaking board exam to have our license.

But I think, with the current trend now, it doesn’t really matter. It hurts ego but I have to stick with my profession than to shift to some graveyard shift work with no personal contact to other person or patient except through computer (no offense intended, though). It just hurts that some see us differently. Probably because they never been through what we had been through.

How could they offer a salary lower than average call center agents? That’s not fair! To think, they said, they are one of the top companies in the world. They sugar coated their offer with benefits you can hardly even use, not unless you will be hit by a car.

That’s just my opinion, though. If proximity wise it’s convenient, it’s your choice in the end. I am just saying what happened to me.