Tag Archive | dream

What Do You Want with Your Life?

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I’ve been nagging myself with that question in these past few months but I still don’t know what my ultimate goal is.

Sure, I want to be sucessful. I want a stable job and a simple life with a family. I want a life that I don’t have to worry about not being able to eat tomorrow. That I can provide for myself and my family. It was just a simple dream. But the thing is, it felt impossible. Unattainable. That I really have to go out of the country just to attain that. Because in here, my profession is in vain.

And there goes writing. I want writing to be my profession, not just a hobby, but my parents didn’t allow me to take any writing related courses so instead, I became a licensed Pharmacist. Not that I hate my current job. I love being a Pharmacist but I just don’t like the current practice here in my country.

I know I don’t need to have a degree just to write. But knowing you are well qualified still means something.

I know a lot of things. I read a lot. I know how to do them. But I still feel insufficient. I still feel useless.

Maybe I just missed my regular readers in college. Since we graduated, I barely see them. My colleagues at work don’t even read. I don’t understand why they never read novels. Probably, they never read a book that could amaze them. Or they were just so lazy to open and read one.

Sometimes, I want to hate my life. That I felt unlucky compared to others in my age. But I know it’s not true. I’m lucky. I get to do a lot of things I love. I can write anything I want.

But what do I want with my life?

Aside from those simple things, my ultimate goal probably is: To be able to share to the world my stories and novels and poems, hoping somehow they could inspire them. I know I have a lot to learn. And what I learned would be shared as well.

Or maybe, I am just insane. What about you? Do you have the same question in life?

I am not LAZY! I am Writing!

My sister thought I was doing nothing but to sit in front of my computer and stare at it. I suddenly told her, “I am writing, leave me alone!”

Then she asked, “Is it hard to write? I want to be a writer to. Where do you get your ideas?”

I sighed. How could I ever explain to her that writing is never easy. Lazy people never become writers because they’ll never finish anything. So I said, “Yes, it’s hard. You have to be alone most of the time, daydream or dream at night. Your ideas will just hit your mind. You have to read a lot. You have to read everything you can grasp. You have to understand quirky words. You have to be friends with dictionary and thesaurus. You have to love books, stories, literature, maps, atlas, travel books and any other references you can find helpful. You need to imagine the world or your own world, learn enough to convey it to writing. You need to know a lot of people–your characters. You have to be patient in revising, editing, rewriting, reading and reading all over again!”

She stared at me, gaping, and returned to my book she was reading.

Well… I think sometimes I’m pretty useless at home because I rarely talk to them. I’m always at my room, in front of this computer, letting my thoughts wander around so I could write a story I want to read. 😉