Tag Archive | broken

In Another Life

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If I’m gone, would you miss me?
Would you say world’s different without me?
I seriously doubt that
I never affected you the way you did to me
I’m just a trusted friend
Nothing more, nothing less
Maybe in another life
Maybe if I’m prettier
If I’m thinner
Or maybe taller
Or even fairier
But I’m still here
Always willing to listen
To understand you
To comfort you
Anything you want
For now, I’ll be your trusted friend
Until maybe in another life
You can finally see me…

(Free Verse IV)

~ a poem inspired by Katy Perry’s Song The One That Got Away
~ while editing / revising my novel, poetry muse strikes me even while commuting

Still You

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I miss you
I miss the way we were
I miss the way you open up to me
No restrictions
No holds barred
Now, there’s a gap I can’t bridge
A wall I can’t penetrate
If only I can turn back the time
But I never regret any of that
No matter the reason
Was it just lust or passion?
I don’t really want to know
I’m afraid of knowing the truth
Afraid of getting hurt
Although I already am
But I still want you
I still want to be with you

(Free verse III)

Just So You Know

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I don’t know what’s wrong
It’s complicated, yet it’s simple
It’s a ridiculous thought
It’s a gap I could no longer bridge
I don’t even know why am I doing this
I miss you,  don’t you know that?
I want to be with you
I don’t want you to go
But I’m confused as well as afraid
Of totally falling for you
Because I know you too well
I know what you’re capable of
I know how many hearts you broke
But I trust you well enough
To yield to you
I don’t know if it’s wrong
I don’t know what’s right
I am confused
I don’t know how to refuse
You, of all people
I’m such a fool
You are just using me
Yet I am still here
With broken heart and wounded soul
I can’t just let you go
Because after all we’ve been through
I still want you
I still want your arms around me
But, I don’t know if you feel that, too

(Free Verse II)

No More Pain

“Do you think I can’t live without you?” he asked.

        She froze. “No,” she replied blankly.

“Go,” he said after a moment of silence, “go with him.”

She eyed at him. Mixed emotions were building inside her. “I never meant to hurt you…” she said, a whisper.

“But you did,” he said bitterly.

“But it’s just a mistake,” she argued. “I can stay with you if you want.”

“But you don’t want to.”

A pang of pain stabbed her heart. “I am in love with—”

“—Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it. I want you to go away. I want you out of my life now!”

“But—” she tried to argue again.

“I said, now!” he exclaimed.

She stood up, picked up her things. He turned his back on her and heard her left.

For five long years, he had been faithful to her. He gave her everything she wanted. But what went wrong? The harmonious relationship they’d been in was now broken. Just because of a stranger—a stranger who was more than him.

He went to his room and looked for something sharp. A blade or perhaps a cutter. Finally, he found one.

He held the cutter and stared at it. He drew out the fatal blade and put it across his wrist. He forced it down, but then he threw it on the floor and horridly stared at the hurting line boring on his wrist which was starting to shed blood.

He reached for a rope and hanged himself with it. When he was about to let go of the chair supporting him, he thought twice. He changed his mind, released his head and went down from the chair.

‘I don’t want a painful way of dying,’ he thought. ‘I already had too much pain in my heart.’

Then, as if the devil came to his aid to help him with his suicide attempt, he saw an amber bottle of sleeping pills. He prepared a glass of water and lay down on the bed, thinking of those things that had made him happy.

He poured a handful of the drug—white, small, quarter-scored tablets and swallowed everything, ignoring the bitter taste of it. He followed it with a glass of water. He pulled the blanket around him to comfort himself and let the drug take over.

Then at once, he was pulled into a slumber where there was no end.

There would never be an end.

And

        There would never be pain again.

Stream of Two Consciouness

You said “Hi”

I held my head high

You smiled wide

I frowned aside

You winked at me

I was starstruck

You’re so cool

I’m so cold

I never thought

I would feel like this

It’s kinda strange

It’s kinda strange

   My heart pounded

   beating fast

   beating fast

   It won’t relax*

I now know

That you’re special somehow

But why is that so

You will have to go

   You left me there

   Waiting, wanting

   Bleeding, asking

   But you didn’t care*

My heart cries

When you walk for miles

I think I’ll die

When I realized you lie

   You made a fool of me

   I just didn’t see

   Your diamond words

   Had crumble my world*

I don’t wanna quit

I don’t wanna breathe

My heart shouts but

It never beats

It never beats

   I don’t wanna cry

   I don’t wanna sigh

   My heart bleeds

   It just died

   It just died*

You have buried me alive

Six feet underground

But there you have arrived

And made me revived…

*By yours truly

The rest, by Jorsal Dionne Tan