I Love You

D-o you know how much you mean to me?
You became my addiction,  you see.
I love you so much that it burns my heart.
And I miss you so much every time we’re apart.

A-nd every time spent with you is a slice of bliss.
That as always, I drown in your kiss.
I never thought you could affect me so much.
That I burn by your mere touch.

V-oid would come to me without your presence.
That what I feel no longer makes sense.
I just wish I could spend more time with you.
That sometimes, the night will not bother you.

E-very moment we share is a cherished memory. 
That will forever be stored and kept with a key.
I don’t want anyone else in this world but you.
My drug, my love, I need you because I love you…

Goodnight, My Love

My love, see you in my dreams tonight. 
Enclose me in your arms, sleep tight. 
Remember that I’ll always have you in my heart. 
Remember that you’re the inspiration of my art.

I love you like I have never loved before.
You are everything I asked God for.
Being with you brought contenment in me.
That nothing else matter in this world,  you see.

You inspire me to be something good.
Not the old bitter me as I should.
You bring me so much happiness.
You make me cast all my bitterness.

Few hours with you is a lifetime I cherish.
Your love bring me so much more than I can relish.
Each time spent with you is worth more than gold.
You’re the only hand I would really love to hold.

Sleep tight my love, dream of bliss.
As I hold you and dream of your kiss.
So sweet, so true, this love for you. 
This love of ours shall bring more morrow…

Love Like There’s No Tomorrow

I love you so, so much that my heart hurts 
I’ll let it all out before I would burst
I never loved someone as strong as this 
I never felt so much love such as this.

I know this may be so fast yet so real 
Just as real as a heart’s unbroken seal
Yes, we may not fully know each other 
Doesn’t matter anyway,  no bother

I’ll hold you tight and never let you go  
Cause if I do, I might die in sorrow 
Hold me in your arms; never pull away 
Cause if you do, I might die in dismay

My drug, with your smell I drown in bliss 
You made me fall in love with just a kiss 
Within your arms, I melt with your embrace 
These memories could never be erased

I love you like there is no tomorrow 
That without you, I’m drowning in sorrow 
Without your love, my fire will surely die 
Without your love, my eyes will surely cry…

Heart’s Dance

I think what we have is like a whirlwind romance
So fast, so sudden, so intense like a fierce dance
Full of love, of life, I almost can’t understand
But I’ve fallen in love so deeply when you held my hand

What we do have is like a circle’s completion
I never thought I could feel such intense passion
Your kiss set me on fire. I want to be consumed
But I love you though I didn’t want to assume

You took a part of my heart and held on to it
Without your presence, I feel lost and incomplete
It’s really a wonder how you did this to me
It’s really a wonder how I let it be

There had been others but then no one was like you
No one has ever affected me like you do
Only you had convinced me to take a chance
Only you had made me say yes to this heart’s dance…

What Do You Want with Your Life?

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I’ve been nagging myself with that question in these past few months but I still don’t know what my ultimate goal is.

Sure, I want to be sucessful. I want a stable job and a simple life with a family. I want a life that I don’t have to worry about not being able to eat tomorrow. That I can provide for myself and my family. It was just a simple dream. But the thing is, it felt impossible. Unattainable. That I really have to go out of the country just to attain that. Because in here, my profession is in vain.

And there goes writing. I want writing to be my profession, not just a hobby, but my parents didn’t allow me to take any writing related courses so instead, I became a licensed Pharmacist. Not that I hate my current job. I love being a Pharmacist but I just don’t like the current practice here in my country.

I know I don’t need to have a degree just to write. But knowing you are well qualified still means something.

I know a lot of things. I read a lot. I know how to do them. But I still feel insufficient. I still feel useless.

Maybe I just missed my regular readers in college. Since we graduated, I barely see them. My colleagues at work don’t even read. I don’t understand why they never read novels. Probably, they never read a book that could amaze them. Or they were just so lazy to open and read one.

Sometimes, I want to hate my life. That I felt unlucky compared to others in my age. But I know it’s not true. I’m lucky. I get to do a lot of things I love. I can write anything I want.

But what do I want with my life?

Aside from those simple things, my ultimate goal probably is: To be able to share to the world my stories and novels and poems, hoping somehow they could inspire them. I know I have a lot to learn. And what I learned would be shared as well.

Or maybe, I am just insane. What about you? Do you have the same question in life?

Writer’s Depression

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For the past few days, I’d been suffering from–what I call–Writer’s Depression.

I got to a point that I no longer know what I want with my life.
That I was no longer sure if I should pursue on this writing path I’m in.
My real profession is also in vain.
I felt so pathetic and helpless.
I felt so useless even to my family.
That what I earn is never enough for my family.
That I thought of leaving this world for good.
I wished to sleep forever.

But I fought it.
I know those thoughts were not true.
A lot of people cares about me.
I’m in a plateau state of my current profession.
My writing career is only about to start, after I finished polishing this manuscript I’m working on.
Suicide is not an option.

I told myself:
I’m a fighter. I’m not giving up on this. I’ve been on this writing world for 9 long years and I can’t just stop now.
I’m still young. I have a long way to go. There are still a lot of people in this world who likes to read like me.